The beggining of the year is when most of us examine certain aspects of ourselves and try to make a change for the better - a new years resolution. These usually include, losing weight/getting into shape, being healthier. This year, i not only focused on trying to be healthier physically, but also mentally... because...when i really took the time to reflect on how much time i spend worrying about things i shocked myself. Worry really isnt good for us..
'Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. ~Glenn Turner' ... and thats exactly what i've been doing... getting nowhere.
In my mind i'd always think about the person i would be one day and the things i would do one day .. and the years have gone by and i'm still not that person and i still havn't done those things...i'm still held back by the question 'what if'? we all probebly do it... from the really big worries ... what if i show them who i am and they don't accept me? What if i open up to that person and they hurt me? What if what i have to offer isn't good enough? What if i'm not good looking enough? What if i fail?
...to the smaller worries....What if they don't like what i'm wearing? what if they don't like my haircut? A lot of the time our talents, our personalities, the things we have to offer the world and even our hearts are wrapped up in chains labeled what if?
The other day during work i was reflecting on the crazy amount of whatiffing i do =) and i realised... its not the what if thats the bad part... its what comes after... what if + fear and negative thinking = us being bound by fear, unable to be who we really are, unable to love like we're mean't to love, and being held back from where we should be going ( not to mention a bad tension headache ) lol
On the other hand, however, if we change what comes after the what if...
what if i show them who i am and they do accept me? What if what i have to offer is good enough? What if they think i am beautiful/goodlooking? what if i open up to him/her and they don't hurt me? What if i succeed and reach my goal? what if they think my haircut is the best thing since sliced bread!? ;)Why don't we ever ask ourselves these questions!?
Then what if + a bit of courage and positive thinking = freedom to be who we really are, freedom to reach our full potential, and have close, deep meaningfull relationships/friendships.
An easy, simple concept to understand... bit more difficult to actually do...
I don't know maybe i'm pessimistic or something, maybe i'm the only one who sometimes gets into the rut of thinking 'what if+negative'.... and its kinda weird writing this because yet again i'm thinking what if people don't get it? what if they think i'm stupid/i'm talking rubbish, what if they critisize it?( not that i really think anyone is gonna wanna listen to me babbling on) but i guess for me this post is part of my new years resolution... by putting aside my fears of what could be... not what nessecarily what will be and thinking what if +positive. what if somebody reads it and does think its kinda ok ;)
'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.'
Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.~Ralph Waldo Emerson
