Back to the future

I was spending time with my boyfriend the other day. We were in his room talking about general things and gradually, the subject of 'the future' came up. As the conversation went on I found myself getting quite upset about the things I was talking about.. my fears, worries etc and I actually got myself wound up into quite a state. When I stop to think about it I've been doing it alot lately... agonizing over what could be/might be, or things that i'm pretty sure will be...



And then, whilst comforting me, he said ' Stop worrying. I hardly ever think about the future'. At which point I turned to him and said 'Yeah and thats why you're unhappy about certain things in your life now.' (A few days earlier he'd been feeling quite low about a few things and, funnily enough, the way he was seeing his future heading in a few months time) 'Look at the state you're in now because you didn't think about the future' I said to him...(not seeing the irony of what I'd just said)

He looked at my face, tears ready to spill out from the corner of my eyes, anxiety gripping me, and he smiled and said 'And look at the state you're in now for thinking about the future.' I just burst out laughing because he was totally right!



But we're both wrong really.. him, because if you want certain things out of life you need to plan, and work towards the goal.. and me because i worry about things that I should just face at the time, instead of worrying about them in advance before they even happen!

In my day to day life recently I've been finding that my mind keeps on getting preoccupied with things that have yet to come, or things that might not even happen!.. and it's not good.. I grieve losses that aren't yet lost, feel the pain of seperations before I've even said goodbye, worry about how i'm going to cope with this that or the other.. and it's pointless! It's a habit that I've got to break but it's like half the time, these days, i'm absent from the world, because my mind keeps getting sucked back to the future! ( see what i did there? ;-) )



The conversation continued and he said, 'You live life like you're walking through an art gallery blindfolded. You miss all the beautiful things around you. By always worrying about the future you miss the happiness to be found in the here and now, you miss the beauty of being in the moment.' I couldn't argue, he was right.



As i've just mentioned, you could argue that by not worrying about the future, you could end up getting nowhere.. but I've come to the conclusion that its very logical to think about the future, very illogical to worry about it... but that's easier said than done..

I remember being a kid and how i was totally engrossed by whatever I was doing at that moment in time.. Whether it was drawing a 'work of art' for my parents, of playing hide and seek, or climbing a tree, making a den or watching a film, or making a penguin out of playdough, it had all my attention, all my focus. My thoughts weren't being dragged back to the worries that tomorrow might bring. Instead i delighted in the experiences I was having at that particular moment in time.. and you know what.. i think i was a lot happier that way! lol

I mean, when i was tucking into an ice-cream i wasn't thinking, 'oh this is gonna go straight to my bum and thighs this is'... no! i just ate the bloody thing and enjoyed it! lol!



In the wise words of Oogway the tortoise from Kung Fu Panda:

'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.'

So maybe we should just leave Doc and Marty worry about the future... =)



But to be serious, yes we should think about the futrure, plan for it etc (its very important to do that) but i've learned its also very important to take pleasure in the here and now. God says to come to him like little children, and that means trusting Him. Trusting that He has 'plans to prosper us, not to harm us. Plans to give us hope and a future.' And then by trusting him, that liberates us to enjoy the here and now and let go of the worry..





“You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future”




“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...”
Isak Dinesen quotes (pseudonym of Baroness Karen Blixen. Danish Writer (Out of Africa, 7 Gothic Tales), 1885-1962)


“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.”
Ovid quotes (Ancient Roman classical Poet and Author of Metamorphoses, 43 BC-17)




“we are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal. We worry away our lives, fearing the future, discontent with the present, unable to take in the idea of dying, unable to sit still.”
Lewis Thomas quotes (American Physician and Writer, 1913-1993